by Maggie Voysest

Dating Mr. Brown: all three of them

Gigi had tried men of many different nationalities, races, and religions, in her search for true love. Never let it be said that she didn’t give love a serious try. And yet none of them had ever worked out. So her next foray into love was in unknowingly picking three men with the same and very common last name of Brown. Three Mr. Browns!! It could only ever happen to Gigi, so why was she even surprised at this point in her dating life? Amazingly enough they were all named Brown, although only one of them was actually brown in skin tone. Gigi should have run screaming into the night when the first Mr. Brown didn’t work out. But Gigi being Gigi, thought that meeting a second Mr. Brown when the first one didn’t work out was a sign. And that the third Mr. Brown was then another and even better sign. Gigi had just misread those signs. Badly misread them. She should have bought a book on Reading Signs for Dummies. If such a book existed, which it didn’t, and for which reason alone we will forgive Gigi’s rather naïve notions on signs.

Niles Brown was a white, tall, bald, tattooed, bad boy biker-type British sleep technician now living in Michigan, who all too quickly lied his way into Gigi‘s heart. Oscar Brown was a white computer technician, with the heart and soul of a poet, and beautiful wavy brown hair from Michigan, who ended up becoming Gigi’s best male friend. And Julian Brown was a bald, sexy African American US Navy sailor from Florida, who abandoned Gigi when she most needed him and is probably now finding a woman in every port from here to the Mediterranean, skipping nary a one. So Gigi had not only dated men of different ethnicities, but also men with vastly different jobs and looks. She had truly tried everything except other women, animals, and priests… although there was this one man of Church who… oh no, I’d better continue with Gigi and her Mr. Browns.

Gigi met them all within a month or two of each other, one after the other, without anyone else in between them. And they all honest to God had the same last name. By Julian, she couldn’t quite believe it and she demanded to see his driver’s license. When she saw that he hadn’t been lying to her (at least not about that, although he would spin some doozies of lies later on), she burst out in hysterical laughter in the middle of the Cowboy Bar in Mallorca, where she had just met her sailor Julian. Yes, Gigi had to go to Spain to fall in lust with a sexy, black guy with the same last name as the two last men she had met and almost fallen in love with.

Was God just messing with her? (Replace “messing” with the more common gerund of the four letter word that begins with an “f“ , and you’ll know what Gigi really thought). But she wanted to keep her memoirs G-rated… Or should it be Gigi-rated, as a newly-met friend, and recent fan of her Gigi stories had suggested just the other day? It was thanks to face book that she met Billy and his lovely “lady” Sara, as he called her and introduced her to everyone. Gigi thought that was so incredibly sweet. Sara was a school friend of Mary’s and had sent Mary a message asking if she knew the author of the Gigi stories. Mary had almost choked: “Know her? I’m ‘in’ her stories.” Sara had seen the Gigi Fan club page on Mary’s face book, and had joined it, quickly becoming hooked on the stories, and then sending the link to her “amado” (loved one). Sara and Billy were one successful online dating story and were happily in love. Gigi always felt some hope whenever she’d see a happy couple.

At the dinner when Gigi met Billy and Sara in person, she casually mentioned her Peruvian boyfriend Joe, since Sara was Peruvian. “Oh Joe… he was the one who lied and cheated on you in chapter 4.” Gigi was amazed. This stranger (or friend not yet known as she preferred to call them) knew about her past loves. “It was actually chapter 5,” she said, “but yes, that’s the one.” Sara went on to tell her how she had printed out all the Gigi chapters to read on the plane, as she flew in to meet her amado. “I was laughing and enjoying them so much on the plane, that the woman next to me kept trying to read over my shoulder.” “You should have just passed her each chapter as you were done reading it, and then I’d have some new fans.” Sara told Gigi that she had sent on the link to all of her girl friends. “Wow,’ thought Gigi. “I’m getting fans through friends of my friends.” She told them that every story was true, and that she hadn’t yet had to invent anything. She also warned them that they would probably appear in her next chapter.

But onto the three unsuccessful Brown relationships. Gigi had thought that at least two of these relationships could go somewhere. At one point, she had even announced on face book that she was happily dating a perfect man. Her more cynical face book friends tried to warn her not to be so trusting, not to confuse like and lust with love, but Gigi never listened to cynical words of advice. She had to discover her mistakes in person. And when she did, she’d ask herself what had she ever done to deserve this? Was God knowingly giving her the perfect material to write about to make her book a total success, and to make up for the fact that men just sucked and didn’t deserve her? Maybe Gigi will thank God some day, when her book has brought her lots of money to make up for the fact that the right side of her bed is empty more often than filled. But for now, Gigi is not very happy with God sending her disaster after disaster, or relationships that just don’t quite work out the way she’d hope.

Gigi had long since decided to stop paying for any more online dating services. Even the thought of sitting at her computer and looking through profiles filled her with shivers of disgust. Yet Gigi was still seriously addicted to her Iphone, much to her girl friends’ dismay. She had recently discovered Iphone apps, thanks to the many television commercials. She’d see the commercials and immediately go to her phone which was never far from her hand (in fact many times she kept it in her bra; boy, did men loved to see her pull it out of there), and she’d download the app at once, before she forgot why she desperately needed an app that would help her navigate the New York subway system, even though she lived in Michigan, and chances of going to New York were rare indeed. On her Iphone she found two apps on dating that were totally free. “Free is good,” Gigi would tell herself. “That way I won’t waste any money when (not if) it doesn’t work out.” One of the dating apps was no good, and didn’t give much information. The other app seemed really good. It asked a ton of questions on personality, likes and dislikes. Then it would offer matches, labeling them from “excellent to very good, to good, to hit or miss.” Why would anyone ever want to go out with a hit or miss? How desperate would anyone have to be to try to go out on a date with a hit or miss person? I bet somewhere there was a top executive on Dating DNA who said: “We can’t name this ‘terrible, horrible dates that don’t have a chance in hell of ever working out.’ We’ll call it ‘hit or miss’ and then maybe the person will think it was their fault if it doesn’t work out because they could have hit it, but instead they missed it, making it their fault, not ours. And this way our site will still get business and give the losers hope.”

So one day Gigi turned to her new Iphone app, and looked at her excellent matches, and sent them a funny message that said since Dating DNA thought they were an excellent match, it was their duty to see if it was correct. Her first attempt was Niles. The fact that he was British, and therefore European like she was gave her such hope… not to mention that he’d have a sexy British accent. That would more than make up for the fact that he was bald and filled with tattoos, which Gigi didn’t really find very attractive. The tattoos that is, not the bald. Gigi had always thought that bald was very sexy, as long as their head was not some weird egg shape.

Gigi and Niles hit it off right away on the phone. He’d even been to Mallorca when he was a teenager, and they exchanged stories of being teenagers during Mallorca summers. They were the exact same age, just a few months apart, and had many shared experiences because of it. They made a date to meet right away, and she drove to Ann Arbor, singing Abba songs all the way down, especially “Gimme, gimme, a man… is there a man out there? Someone to hear my prayer?” She called him when she got to the city, and he told her where he was already parked and waiting for her. That should have been her first clue that it wouldn’t work out. Gigi liked to arrive at a date early, so that she could run to the bathroom, and spruce up for that first look. With Niles, they met in the parking lot. She couldn’t even pull her skirt down, which had ridden up her legs while driving, or pull her top up to cover a little more of her cleavage, when she’d suddenly realized that she was showing almost all of her tatas.

They hugged hello and smiled, felt an instant attraction and the beginnings of those famous goose bumps. They held hands as they walked into the bar, and they talked for two hours non-stop. Gigi had driven to see him to give them more time on their date, since Niles had to go to work at 6 PM. Niles was a sleep technician and worked nights three nights a week. Those three nights and one solitary afternoon a week soon became their only time together. When he was home the other four days and nights a week, he’d rarely call or text Gigi, a sign that she ignored. Gigi was great at interpreting signs only the way she wanted to interpret them. She’d ignore the signs that were bad ones. Niles had told Gigi that he was still technically married, but that they were working on a divorce, and still living together, since he couldn’t afford to move out yet. Gigi believed him since she had been in the same position once.

After that first very successful date, Niles walked her back to her car, and they exchanged the best first kiss ever, leaving them both trembling and wanting more. So much more in fact that they spent all that night on the phone. Since Niles’ job was to watch people sleep and monitor the machines, he had a lot of time to text and talk on the phone. Funny that he was a sleep technician who had to find out why people couldn’t sleep, and he was depriving Gigi of sleep three nights a week. By 2 AM he asked Gigi if she’d mind if he came to see her as soon as he got off work at 7 AM. “Mind?” said Gigi. “I’ve been thinking all night whether it would be too weird to ask you to do just that. I can’t believe we both thought of it.” So Gigi and Niles spent all night together from a distance, getting no sleep and planning on seeing each other in just a few hours. Gigi was filled with excitement and anticipation, unable to close her eyes and sleep, even though Niles told her that at least one of them should try to get some sleep.

She ran around the house at 5 in the morning, cleaning frantically, throwing things into bedrooms, closets and the laundry room, putting up candles to light at 8 AM. When Niles was finally at her door, Gigi just flung herself into his arms, and they fell onto her red couch and made out like bandits. Ok. I won’t lie. All clothes were soon tossed into the air, and Gigi soon found out that the black myth could also be known as the British myth. Niles would never have to hang his head in shame in a locker room. It was probably the most amazing first sexual experience ever. Gigi had found out in the past that the first time was not always a good one, and that it took various tries to improve and be fully successful. With Niles, it was as if he knew instinctively just what Gigi liked and wanted. It was wild and passionate one minute, slow and tender the next. One minute they were biting and clawing, and the next tenderly caressing. And all on her couch. They never made it upstairs to her bedroom. Not that time, at least.

Niles didn’t stay for very long that day, since he had to work again that night and would need some sleep before going back to work. Part of Gigi thought that she’d never hear from him again. But he texted her as he was driving home, telling her that it had been the most amazing experience of his life, and that he couldn’t wait to see her again. For the next month and a half, they began a ritual of spending every Wednesday together during the day, and then every Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday night on the phone. Gigi was on vacation from teaching when they met which made this possible. Within just two weeks Niles told her, “I don’t want to rush things between us. Or take them too slowly. I miss you when we are apart, and I think we are so good together, even though we haven’t known each other long. I’m trying to say that I could fall in love with you very easily.” When Gigi read that email, her heart just fluttered. Finally. A man who was not afraid of the love word. He told her that he felt so “connected to her” and that he had felt that connection instantly.

When Niles would come to see her on Wednesdays, he’d arrive around 9 in the morning, and they would spend all day in bed, until he’d leave at 4 PM to go to work. The sex was truly amazing, and so satisfying, but they would also talk in between love sessions, and Gigi truly thought that they were bonding on all levels. They only ever shared five incredible Wednesdays together, she realized with a shock much later on. Yet in that short of a time, Niles told her that he loved her, that at times when he was at work, he could actually feel her teeth on him (he loved being bitten), and that he could really see a future with them.

And then one day, he disappeared. One minute he was missing her in between visits. The next, her texts and phone calls were not answered, and her messages on Dating DNA went unread. He didn’t even log on for two weeks, and Gigi wondered if something terrible had happened to him. Eventually he did log on, but he never read her messages. So he was alive. A jerk, but alive. Gigi checked out his workplace, and it listed his name, home address, and home phone number. A more cruel or obsessive woman than Gigi would have gone to his house and confronted him. Gigi had never been that type of a woman. She didn’t want to have to be the one to let his wife know that her husband was a lying cheat. Because by now Gigi was convinced that he had never been on the point of divorce. That she’d been just a temporary amusement. That for some reason, he’d decided to just move on to the next foolish woman to fall for his lies.

Years ago, Gigi would have tried to convince herself that he’d really fallen in love with her, and had to leave her for her own good, because he was trapped in a loveless horrible marriage, and was afraid of losing his precious son. A more mature and cynical Gigi told herself that it had all been lies to get into her bed, and that he had probably stopped when Gigi began to declare her love for him, even though he had been the first one to bring up the love word. He’ll forever more be a mystery, unless one day Gigi decides to get her revenge by creating a new Dating DNA profile, with someone else’s photo (and Mary had offered to use hers), and trap Niles into a date, in which Gigi would pop out and demand an explanation. But Gigi told herself that although it would make for a fun and hilarious chapter, he really wasn’t worth all the time and effort it would take.

And that was the end of Mr Brown I. Next came Oscar. Mr. Brown II (ironically, he was actually Oscar Brown III – yes, just one more instance of God laughing at Gigi’s life). After Niles, Gigi really should have deleted the Dating DNA app on her Iphone. It had allowed yet another dating site member to lie about being divorced. Really, why didn’t these websites ever ask for proof of divorce? Of course, we mustn’t forget that Gigi had been foolish enough to give Niles a chance, even after finding out that his divorce was only in the works, and not quite final. Sadly to say, I am almost certain that divorce wasn’t even a glimmer of an idea in his mind, and that his wife was probably happily puttering around their home, without a clue that her husband was on a dating site telling women he was almost divorced. Gigi had a moment of wanting to let the wife know, but didn’t want to be the one to burst her bubble of happiness. And when Niles disappeared without a word, Gigi kept on going, not quite ready to give up on this website.

So she contacted Oscar, the next so-called “excellent” match. Hmmm. Maybe she should have contacted the “hit or miss” matches… If the excellent matches just weren’t working out, maybe they would? And yet today, as she looks back, she is very glad that she didn’t “delete delete delete that fricking app”, which she had been sorely tempted to do because thanks to Dating DNA, she met Oscar. And thanks to Oscar, Gigi began to write her memoirs and might someday be a published writer. Maybe Gigi and Oscar didn’t find a happily-ever-after love, but they certainly found something almost as good, sometimes even better: a true, real, and lasting friendship. Instead of the famous line, “We’ll always have Paris,” Gigi would one day tell Oscar that at least they would always have their friendship.

Oscar and Gigi met for coffee on a Sunday, after having spent the previous day texting away on their matching Iphones, discovering so many things in common, mainly their love for poetry and literature. They spent over two hours talking that first date, and Oscar was very honest about certain things in his life, such as the fact that his divorce was not quite final. “AGHHHHHHHH,” yelled Gigi in her head. “Is anyone fricking divorced on these sites besides myself?” Yet Oscar assured her that it was just a matter of weeks, and he offered to show her his divorce papers, so Gigi once again gave someone the benefit of the doubt. He was actually telling the truth, and they celebrated his divorce a few weeks later, with a scrumptious chocolate divorce cake. Their coffee date was a rip-roaring success, as was the kiss they exchanged by their cars.

The very next day after they met, Oscar began to text her, starting in the early morning. Gigi was in heaven to realize she’d finally met an avid texter, just like she was. Oscar invited her to his house that night for dinner, and Gigi gladly accepted. “He can cook,” she thought in delight, and cook he could. It was probably the best stay-at-home date ever. Gigi had brought her favorite poetry books, and Oscar took out his, and they spent hours reading poems to each other. He knew some poems by heart, and he had the most melodious voice. Oscar also wrote poems, and as he began to read his poetry, Gigi felt herself begin to fall for him. He introduced her to poets she’d never heard of, and poets whom she had known once long ago, in the days of poetry and literature that she had left far behind. Gigi had forgotten just how much she enjoyed having her literary mind challenged.

It was all so natural and comfortable between them, as though they’d known each other for years. They spent the night holding hands, exchanging kisses and touches, and with each kiss and glance felt the passion grow between them, so that soon Gigi was on his lap, and trying her hardest to contain herself. Her inner reckless Gigi wanted to ravish him there and then. Her outer cautious Gigi told her they should wait. So they decided they’d wait just a few more days… that they would try to make it till their next date, which they’d already set for Friday. She stayed at his house until 2 AM, both of them unwilling for her to go, but forced into it by thoughts of work the next day.

They spent the next day and night texting and emailing each other non-stop, agreeing that last night had been wonderful and that they couldn’t wait until Friday. Gigi woke up at 2 AM to find that Oscar had written her a poem, about a Mediterranean queen. OMG. If Gigi had been with him then and there as she read it, there would have been no more waiting. They were both awake at the same time and they began to email each other back and forth. I must admit that Gigi was secretly hoping that this would continue and that they would both fall in love. Yet knowing Gigi and her disastrous luck in love, you can already guess that this chance would once again pass her by. Not by any either of them did wrong, but just because it wasn’t meant to be.

By now it was Wednesday and they had only known each other a few days. And yet they already knew so much about each other. Oscar told her that he couldn’t wait till Friday to see her again, and asked her to come over that night. So she did. This time Gigi cooked for him, and it was a repeat of two nights ago: more poems read, more hand holding, more kisses and caresses exchanged. They even shared their favorite songs this time, both of them loving the lyrics of certain songs. This time Gigi couldn’t hold back. We’ll blame her, because Oscar was a total gentleman, and would probably have waited as long as he was asked to wait. Their passion was tumultuous, and they made love three times that night. Oscar read her the poem he’d written for her, and began calling her his pet name for her of “mi muñeca” (my doll). Gigi simply called him “mi precioso”: my precious, not like the precious in Lord of the Rings, but as in someone truly precious to her, because of his unique and wonderful personality.

They talked of all the future things they wanted to do together, movies to watch, plays to attend, books to read and share. Oscar wanted to learn Spanish, and Gigi loved the idea of being his teacher. Oscar had told her that his last relationship hadn’t worked out because the woman didn’t have enough time for him, that he loved to spend a lot of time with someone. Gigi thought it was simply perfect, because she wanted the same thing. She began to cross her fingers that maybe she’d finally met the one, and began calling him her poet, and announced to face book that she was oh so happy. Her cynical friends warned her. Once again, she didn’t listen.

The next night was her salsa night with the girls, and Oscar had a karaoke night with the guys. They had texted each other throughout the day and night, and it ended up being a perfect night, because after a few hours of karaoke, Oscar brought his best friend Shawn to the salsa club, and was soon meeting Kelly and Susan, who of course had been hearing about Oscar ad nauseum all week. They held hands in the club, and Gigi was deliriously happy, as the one and only photo ever taken of them shows. Gigi almost felt as though she had a boy friend, someone to go out to clubs with, someone to stay home with. How perfect was life?

Not perfect enough, because sadness was just days away. It was finally Friday and the weekend, and they had plans to spend it together. Gigi went to his house after another day of non-stop texts. They cooked together, and then watched a movie at home while waiting for Shawn to show up. Then the three of them went to a karaoke bar. One of Oscar’s favorite things to do, besides read and write poetry, was singing at karaoke bars, and he actually had an amazing voice. Gigi sang just one song, with Oscar, a duet from Grease, and she didn’t suck too badly!! She had fun just listening to him and Shawn sing. They ended up going home early because Oscar wasn’t feeling well, and although she did spend the night, she ended up leaving early the next day, even though they’d had plans to spend that night together. And that was that. The beginning of the end.

It’s very strange as she looks back on that first week with Oscar. It had seemed so perfect at the time because Oscar was everything she had been looking for, attractive, intelligent, passionate, and funny, and yet despite all that, something between them was not quite perfectly aligned. Maybe Gigi could have fallen in love with Oscar, if he hadn’t been the one to turn away first. She certainly felt an instant attraction, mega goose bumps, and an amazing mental and emotional affinity with him. It was almost as special as that first week with David had been. In fact, Oscar reminded her a lot of David.

They had the same taste in quirky movies and music, the same driven single mindedness for their hobbies, and the same intense passion for… Gigi, and the physical side they discovered together. They were both intelligent, well-read men who had basically taught themselves everything they knew, and were always on the search for more knowledge: like the robot in Short Circuit who kept repeating “Need input”, both David and Oscar were on a continual search for mental stimulation. They were both very affectionate and considerate, at least that first week before each one ran away, oops I mean, turned away, from Gigi, in their own way. They both left Gigi wondering WTF? How could one perfect week spent almost continuously together, end up with Gigi on her own once again? They both came back to Gigi after just days. But both times, it was just not meant to be. At least with Oscar, Gigi was able to maintain him as a friend right away. The reason for this was easy: Gigi had not fallen head over heels in love with Oscar.

By the time Gigi met Oscar, she had enclosed her heart quite tightly in a casing that no one would ever open again, at least for life as Gigi knows it today. She had grown very cautious after David left the first time. So when Oscar left, Gigi wasn’t enveloped in tears, though she must confess to having shed one or two. She was able to accept his offer of friendship the very same day that he told her (on the phone) that he just wasn’t “feeling it” anymore. This was the day after he had not felt well and Gigi had gone home early. One week after their first date.

“Feeling it?” Gigi wanted to scream, “Feeling what?” Feeling me? You certainly had no trouble with that last night!! Feeling love? You never even gave that a chance!!” Gigi could have kicked and screamed and had an honest to God toddler temper tantrum, a royal hissy fit, a scream till you go red in the face. Instead she bit the inside of her cheek hard, and didn’t show Oscar how upset she really was. She told him that she wasn’t sure if she could be friends, when he told her that he hated the idea of not having her in his life anymore. Oh the Marie Antoinettes of this world who would like to have their cake and eat it too… And yet, after Gigi put down her Iphone (ok, threw down her phone, but only on her big soft bed, destined to be empty for eternity), she realized that she was not crushed. She was able to get out of bed without feeling like she was falling apart. By that afternoon, she realized that she too, would hate not having Oscar in her life anymore. So she texted him and accepted his offer of friendship.

How could someone just give up on a relationship within days? Why couldn’t some people give dating a chance, to see where it could lead to? Why did they have to “feel it” right away? Sometimes feelings developed slowly over time. Not everything was instantaneous. How could you go from an intense “feeling it” to a mild “just not feeling it” in a matter of days? Yet Gigi didn’t want to lose that amazing literary connection she had discovered with Oscar. She thought that she would give friendship a try because she had found that she truly loved Oscar as a friend, and didn’t want to lose him the way she had lost David. She hadn’t been able to be friends with David for almost two years, and she had missed that so much. With Oscar it was much easier.

And so they became friends. For the next six days they texted, emailed and talked on the phone, like longtime friends, complaining about work days, their ex’s, and just being there for each other. Now that Saturday they’d originally had plans to go see a musical. “Miss Saigon” was playing and it was one of Gigi’s favorites. She’d been so happy to know that Oscar also loved going to musicals. They decided that they would still go, starting with a nice Spanish dinner at Gigi’s favorite restaurant around the corner. Oscar said he would pick her up, and Gigi dressed up just because it was a theatrical venture, not because she thought of it as a date.

And yet, when Oscar showed up, also nicely dressed and hugged her, he kissed her hello, and it felt like a date from the very first minute. They had a great dinner, and then walked arm in arm to the theatre. Somehow they were soon holding hands, and even exchanged a few kisses. Gigi tried not to think about it or look for any hidden meaning, apart from the fact that Oscar seemed to be “feeling it” once again. The play was over by 10, and Oscar told her that he didn’t want to go home yet. So they went to a Coney island near by and had coffee and dessert (real dessert!! Not Gigi frolicking dessert, at least, not yet anyways). They talked about their divorces, and what led up to them, and it turned out they both had had the similar experience of growing apart from their spouses and falling in love with someone else. It was so refreshing to be completely honest.

When they left the restaurant it was almost midnight, and they still didn’t want to go home. So they drove around Ferndale, where Gigi lived and Oscar had grown up. Finally he looked at her and asked if she’d go home with him. Gigi knew in her heart that she should say no, that this was just becoming another David situation of on-again, off-again, but she didn’t want to go home alone. She was hoping that maybe this time, he was ready to give it a try. So try they did. For a second time. They spent many more days and nights together. Shared many more meals and poetic nights. Oscar asked for her help and advice in an artistic website that he was creating, and he asked her to write the introduction to it, and then some stories. And so Gigi’s written memoirs began, and with them, she began to free herself of so many past ghosts.

Being with Oscar was wonderful, but he showed no signs of falling in love with her, so Gigi kept the doors tightly closed around her heart, and saw it all as a great friendship with benefits. They had an email conversation once on what was happening between them. Oscar was afraid of hurting Gigi, and she told him that she was a big girl, that she liked being with him, and that he shouldn’t worry so much about the future. Whatever happened would happen. As the time approached for Gigi to go to Spain for three weeks, Oscar began to withdraw a little at a time, and not see her as much. So by the time Gigi went to Spain, she had not seen him in almost two weeks, and she felt inside as though it was over again. He barely texted her or emailed her while she was in Spain, and so Gigi didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty when she met and fell for her third Mr. Brown. Julian Brown, her sailor.

Now Gigi had not “done” a sailor in years, not since she had been in college. She’d totally forgotten what a senseless thing that was: to get involved with someone who’d be at sea more than on land, who’d meet beautiful women in each and every port, not to mention the fact that it would be yet another long distance relationship. But Gigi didn’t plan on meeting anyone or falling for anyone. She was not going to Spain with her girl friends, but with her two teenage sons, and with two of her teenage students to whom she’d been teaching Spanish for the past few years. She thought that with four teenagers to watch over and chaperone, she’d have no time to flirt and get into trouble. Oh Gigi. She should have realized that she could find a man and get in trouble no matter where she was or who she was with. It was quite simply inevitable. Life according to Gigi.

Gigi had not been to Spain for seven years, not since she went with Daniel, her Canadian ex. She had so many things planned, visits with her mami, reunions with old school friends, and beaches, lots and lots of beaches. She never thought that she would meet someone… let alone a THIRD Mr. Brown. One night their second week in Mallorca, Gigi and her teenagers were walking down from their hotel, on their way to their favorite restaurant for dinner. Gigi saw that the Cowboy Bar was open. Now this was a bar that only opened up when US Navy ships were in port. Gigi used to work there when she was living in Spain with her ex-husband Tim, and she knew the owners well. She walked in, and was told that a ship had just come in. Gigi decided that they would stop in there after dinner, and maybe her teenage girls (they were almost 18), would find some quite young American sailors to flirt with. Little did she know what would be waiting for them.

When the ships used to pull in, out would pour dozens of young sailors, and Gigi and her friends used to have a blast. Now this ship was just a small supply ship, and so there were not that many sailors out. And the minute Gigi walked up to the bar, she knew she was in trouble. There were no young sailors. Nope. Not a one. There were only sailors in their 30’s-50’s… and they were all African American. Gigi told herself that she should just turn around, especially when she saw Julian. She spent the rest of the night purposely avoiding him because just the look in his eye spelled trouble. Mega trouble. Big time Gigi trouble.

So she talked to all his friends, introduced them to the kids who had a great night talking to them. Gigi was playing pool with her son Shane, when Julian came up to Gigi, and asked her if she was ever intending on talking to him. He commented on how she had talked to all of his friends while avoiding him all night. Gigi just smiled flirtatiously up at him. “Well, it worked, didn’t it? You came up to me.” When Julian smiled his wicked, sexy smile at her, Gigi just gave up trying to fight it. She thought that she’d be safe, surrounded by four teenagers. Yet they were all talking to the sailors, and Gigi was abandoned to the mastery of a true male version of Gigi. He could have flirted with the best of them and come out winning. They spent the rest of that night flirting and talking, dancing and playing pool. Julian said that his ship would be in port for the next three days, and that he hoped they could see each other again, and maybe even once he returned to the States. He gave Gigi his phone number and email, and that’s when she found out his last name was Brown. As she burst out laughing, she told him about Niles and Oscar, and they laughed at the ironies of life together.

That night at 2 in the morning, Julian called Gigi, asking her to have dinner with him the next night. She agreed to join him, but said that her kids would also have to come. So began Gigi’s vacation fling, chaperoned by four teenagers. Julian joined them for dinner that night, and they ended up having some alone time because all four kids were tired for once and wanted to go back to the hotel and have an early night. Gigi and Julian walked them to the hotel and saw them to their rooms, and then Gigi was able to escape for the first time in weeks. Julian and Gigi walked along the beach that was near the hotel, and they found a secluded spot with no one around. They sat on the sand, and talked and made out like teenagers, and all I’ll say is that they were able to have some quick dessert, while fully clothed… although somehow sand was able to find its way into too many body parts… how had Gigi ever enjoyed midnight trysts at a beach? Was she getting too old for this?

The next day was Julian’s last day in port, and Gigi invited him to spend the day with her and the kids. They had rented a car, and they spent the day touring, visiting the famous Majorca pearl factory and the underground Caves of Drach. Julian was great with the kids, and Gigi was quite happy to spend the day with him, walking around hand-in-hand, kissing, singing to oldies on the radio, and finding some things in common… not a lot, at least not anything intellectual like she’d had with Oscar. It was more of a sexual connection. Julian was very in touch with his sexuality, and had had quite a life, many details of which Gigi would not find out until much much later, such as his short career as a porn star… Porn star? Are you kidding me?

He was with Gigi all day and night, going to her mother’s house and meeting her mami, who simply loved him. Gigi’s mami had had a thing for African Americans ever since she was young. Like mami, like Gigi… After that Gigi took him to a friend’s barbecue, and all in all they had a great day. Now Gigi was not falling in love, not in the slightest. It was pure lust on both their parts, but she told herself that she needed some good, honest lust, after having almost fallen in love with the other two Mr. Brown’s, with it going nowhere. Gigi spent the night with Julian that night. They got a room to themselves, and she was with him until 4 in the morning, and he spent the night showing her just a few things that porn stars are good at… and then she drove him to the port. His ship left the next day, and Gigi felt sad to see him go, thinking that she’d never hear from him again.

How little did she know that he would spend the next three months emailing her constantly every day, sometimes up to 6 emails a day. She happily answered each email with one of her own, and so they began a long distance email thing. Gigi never fooled herself into thinking that it would last, but it was nice while it did. They shared many a kinky email, sent each other naughty photos, and Julian had great suggestions for toys that she should get to keep herself happy while manless. She even had her first webcam experience with him, when he was in port, but that only happened a few times. And let me tell you that taking photos of yourself and positioning a webcam is very hard to do… and not quite as fun as you might think.

Gigi would have been happy to see him in the States, but just when she needed him the most, he went silent, and didn’t email for almost two weeks. At first he said that it was because he was in a dead zone. But then he hit more European ports, and sent her messages on yahoo messenger, but no more emails. Suddenly he had very little time for her, and the lies began. He would tell her that he was tired and had to go to sleep because it was midnight. But when Gigi did the mental math in her head, she realized it was 2 PM for him in Amsterdam. He’d tell her he had to go call his son… when it was 8 AM in Florida, and his son would be in school… and he gave her absolutely no sympathy when Gigi’s mami got suddenly ill, and she needed some long distance comfort from him. He told her that he had his own problems, with his son being ill in the hospital, and that she had to deal with her problems on her own!! Gigi realized that all he wanted was a female to exchange sexy photos and webcam experiences with, and was not the kind of person to help in the bad times. So she told him she was done being his long distance sex kitten, and that was that. Gigi was done with the last of her Mr. Brown’s and was once again alone…or not? If you know Gigi like I know Gigi, you’ll know that she never lacked men to flirt with or enjoy life with. But that’s… another chapter…

To read Part XIX, see The Adventures of a Thoroughly Confused Gigi – Part XIX