by Maggie Voysest

How Gigi Discovered Her Sexuality

It might seem strange to some that Gigi was once shy. Yes, I know. Hard to believe after having read all these chapters on her dating life, especially the last one on her booty calls. But once upon time, on a Spanish island far away, Gigi was an only child, quite timid, and born to parents who had her very late in life. When Gigi was born, her mother was 38 and her father was 48. It wasn’t an ideal childhood in many respects. Her parents were not very happily married, but they were good parents. Especially her father. Gigi was Daddy’s little girl from the minute she was born. Her father was a journalist, writing a small daily column for the island’s English newspaper, and he wrote about daily events on the island. He wrote about Gigi as she was growing up, his pride in her shining through with each mention. As a teenager, Gigi was slightly embarrassed that he wrote so much about her, but as an adult, she saw it was simply a testament of his love for her. She wished he had been around to meet his grandsons, and especially to read her memoirs. Then again, maybe her memoirs would not have been an ideal reading for her Daddy!

She grew up in a small house in the mountains, surrounded by mansions, and not very accessible to someone with no car. Gigi’s mami never learned how to drive, so Gigi spent most of her childhood alone with her dolls and her very vivid imagination. She didn’t have many play dates, unless their mothers had cars, which in Spain was rare. So when she was home alone, Gigi would read, write in her diary, make up stories, and marry off all of her dolls. In her home Barbie did not divorce Ken! She was a born romantic, and her endings were always happy ones. She must have known, deep inside, just by seeing her parents’ marriage, that love wasn’t always perfect, but Gigi was very good at ignoring what she didn’t like to see.

At school, Gigi was a straight A student. Yes, she was that little girl with the long black hair, tied with a big red ribbon, dressed in prissy little dresses, always raising her hand to answer the question. Her teachers loved her. Her fellow classmates thankfully never made fun of her; maybe because her shyness touched them. They had no trouble asking her for help with class work. And when it came to boys? Well, they simply did not ask her out much. Maybe because the one time a boy gave her a bracelet, her father wrote about it in his column… Now there were three brave boys who did ask her out, but they were all younger than Gigi and even more shy, so apart from some kisses, there was not much excitement in Gigi’s teenage years.

Gigi had lots of crushes, worshipping some of the older boys from afar, but she never dared to approach them. Years later, as an adult, Gigi became friends with one of these older boys. Paulo told her that they had all begun to notice Gigi the day the booby fairy visited her and gave her a very generous donation. Gigi blushed when he told her that they all remembered the day Gigi got her breasts. However, when Gigi was in high school, they seemed to be gods way above her reach, and only there to worship from afar. If they ever talked to her, she would be in delight for days, writing furiously away in her diary that so-and-so had talked to her, and maybe he liked her, and what should she do, and was he the one, the love of her life? Of course, he was just being nice to her, and there was no romantic interest at all in his part. And Gigi would just sigh sadly, until the next time. Gigi was like Anne (with an e) of Green Gables, either in the “depths of despair” or “flying up on the wings of anticipation.”

When Gigi was 14, her mami took her to Barcelona to a family reunion. Gigi’s family didn’t have much money growing up, so any trip was always a huge adventure and special occasion. It was at this time that Gigi met Paco, who would one day become her first innocent true love, and with whom she would embark on her first sexual experience. Gigi only saw Paco a few times in her life, every couple of years, but they began to write to each other, and through their letters, they got to know each other. That first summer, Gigi was too young. She was still playing with dolls at age 14, and would never have thought of actually kissing a boy. Ewww and yuck! But even still, there was an instant connection between them, one that foretold their future together.

Then came the summer when she was 16, and ready to fall in love. This time when she saw Paco, it was no longer through the eyes of a little girl who plays with dolls, but through the eyes of a lonely young girl who wanted so desperately to fall in love, and have that love returned. Paco seemed likewise enchanted with her, and within days, they began their innocent courtship. Paco and Gigi had an idyllic month together in Barcelona. Gigi and her mami actually stayed with Paco and his family in their large apartment in the very center of Barcelona, just steps away from la Sagrada Familia. They spent that month visiting friends and family, and Paco went with her everywhere she went. Funnily enough Paco’s father was the childhood sweetheart of Gigi’s mami, which made their story that much sweeter and it seemed as though it were destined to happen. Gigi soon became best of friends with Paco’s four sisters, and fell shyly in love with Paco. In her innocent heart, this all proved that it was meant to be.

They walked around hand-in-hand, kissing sweetly, carving their initials in trees all over Barcelona. They threw pennies in its fountains. They walked along the Barcelona pier at night, sitting on the rocks as the waves crashed upon them, and listened to gypsy flamenco love songs by Manzanita about never-ending love. “Yo te amare, te amare” “I will love you, love you.” Gigi was his Catalonian princess, and he was her dashing young prince. They walked along Las Ramblas, and under the shadows cast by La Sagrada Familia. They visited her uncle living at the top of a Pyrenee mountain, so high up they were above the clouds, gazing at stars and making wishes when they fell.

He shared his favorite love songs with her, and Gigi loved every tender part of his sensitive heart. He was a very quiet and shy boy, whose mother had died when he was young, and although one year older than Gigi, he was just as innocent. They vowed their true love, and promised to wait forever more for one another. Gigi was too innocent that summer to take it any further, and Paco never even tried. Gigi had always told herself that she would wait until she was 18, and wait she did. She innocently and sweetly began to plan for that summer of the loss of her innocence months ahead of time.

Although Gigi was Daddy’s little girl, she was able to tell her mami anything. Now Gigi and her mami fought like cats and dogs (and still do to this very day), but she knew that she could confide in her. Gigi told her that she was planning on sleeping with Paco the summer after she turned 18, and a few months before that summer came, Gigi’s mami put Gigi on the pill, something that was obviously never discussed with Gigi’s Daddy. They planned on going to Barcelona for a month, and staying with Paco at his home. Now could it have been any more ideal? Gigi had her mami’s approval and would be living with Paco as they explored their first time together, a first for both of them, since Paco was also a virgin.

Now this was another night that Gigi was never able to write about in her diary, but one she will never forget. They planned the night ever so carefully, with sweet romantic touches like a dinner out together, candles and music, and Paco’s sisters were brought into the plan, keeping the adults occupied and out of the apartment. Gigi even had black lace lingerie that her mami had bought for her. It was perfect. Until Paco’s nerves failed him… and he was unable to… let’s say achieve the necessary firmness to deflower eager Gigi. Poor Paco. Poor Gigi. All these years of waiting, and he was unable to deliver. Gigi ran to his sisters (who were SO not virgins), and asked what she could do. They filled her tender ears with more advice than she could handle. “Do WHAT to him? Put his whatsit WHERE? Eewwww,” said Gigi. But she was ready to end her innocence, and ready to do whatever it took.

And here began the realization and discovery of her sexuality. Gigi soon found out that she was a born temptress, and maybe not as shy as she’d thought. She loved pleasing her man, teasing him and making him… rise to the occasion. I guess just lying there and taking it had simply not excited poor Paco that first time. Now that she knew what to do, there were no problems. She even followed all the suggestions of his sisters to the letter, and found out that putting his whatsit you know where, was not that bad after all. And definitely worthwhile when she saw how very much he liked it. It gave her this exhilarating rush, this supreme feeling of female power, a “look what I can do to him” sensation, that made her feel like a goddess of love. And they spent the rest of that month happily exploring their sexuality, with lots of wonderful advice from his sisters, who funnily enough were all younger than Paco, but had lots of experience. Gigi and Paco had a perfect summer, but the next Christmas when she went back to see him, Paco broke up with her, and Gigi experienced her first heart break. She had her revenge years later in college, when he wanted her back, and she turned him down. But that’s another story…

Her next sexual discovery didn’t happen until college. Gigi didn’t sleep with that many people after Paco, as it took her a while to get over him. Gigi never recovers easily from heart break. She did sleep with some, but it was not anything to write home about, and wasn’t very exciting. In fact, at times Gigi felt very little, and wondered if there was something wrong with her. She hadn’t yet learned that every sexual experience is different, and that it is not incredible and amazing with just anyone. At least in Gigi’s experience it isn’t. There seem to be some people who enjoy it no matter who they are with. For Gigi there had to be an emotional connection for the experience to become truly magnificent, and this only happened a few times in her life. Now I will mention the important men in Gigi’s life without going into explicit details on just what they taught her. Some things really should remain private!

She only had a few lovers at college, and none that lasted very long or were that memorable. Her first, Dick, was very sweet, but they only had a few moments shared. He was the one that said she had “bodacious tatas.” Gigi found him on face book just a few months ago, and they had fun remembering the good old days in college. He is actually a director in California, for several well-known television shows. Gigi might have to ask him to direct the film if her memoirs take off one day. Unfortunately for Gigi, he is happily married, and off the market.

Her first truly memorable sexual experience in college was with a college student from MIT who was in the ROTC program, and he was on a navy ship in Spain the summer that Gigi was 20. She would go home every summer, and if you recall from a past chapter, her island was always over run with American servicemen. After Ben the marine had broken her heart when Gigi was 19, she had tried to stay away from them, remembering the “girl in every port” warning. But every now and then, one of them would charm her into going out with them, and she would forget to heed the warning.

She met Dave (his real name, and mentioned briefly in the David chapter) at an officer’s party she went to with her parents. Gigi was with her best friend Whitney. Whitney’s name is another name that will not be changed, could not be changed. Ever. Whitney was a true original, a unique and beautiful person, and Gigi’s best friend in her late teenage years. Sadly Whitney would live a very short life, barely reaching her middle 20’s, but her impact on those around her was huge. The summers that Gigi was 18-20 years old were spent with her, and their adventures together could fill another book. They were great at picking up servicemen together. In fact, they were great at picking up any male together.

Whitney was daring to Gigi’s shyness, and together they made a truly formidable team, like sugar and spice. Whitney brought out the wild in Gigi, and hopefully Gigi brought out something good and tender in her. At least thanks to Gigi, Whitney was able to stay up all night. Whitney’s mother had arranged for Gigi and Whitney to meet, and they became instant friends. She thought that Gigi would be a good influence on the slightly wild Whitney, having read about Gigi in her Daddy’s columns. Little did she know that Gigi never had a curfew growing up. Gigi’s Daddy once told her that what you can do at 2 A.M. you can also do at 2 in the afternoon, and so Gigi had an unusual freedom. Spain was very safe in those days, so her parents never worried about her. Gigi was allowed to go to the discos until the very wee hours of the morning. In fact, sometimes Gigi and Whitney would get home just as the birds were waking up and people were leaving for work. Mallorca was an amazing island to grow up in, as Gigi and her many childhood friends found on face book reminisced about constantly. Ah face book, yes that will be the next chapter here, I think.

Now Gigi and Whitney hadn’t wanted to go this officer’s party, thinking that it would be very boring and filled with old men. Gigi had told her parents they would only stay for a short while and would then go off to a disco. So it was much to their surprise when they saw cute, young college boys at this party. Gigi and Dave immediately caught each other’s eyes, and the rest of the night was simply hilarious. He and a friend of his soon left the party with Gigi and Whitney, and they took them to Tito’s, their favorite disco. Dave was flirting with Gigi all night, trying to get her to kiss him. She told him the whole sad story of Ben, and how he broke up with her with a Dear John letter. This was the first time that Gigi would hear the following from a man, which I’m sure many of you have heard ad nauseum. “But I would never treat you like that! Please don’t ever judge me by what someone else has done to you!” Gigi was naively and stupidly touched by this entreat, thinking that it was so unfair of her to think he would be another Ben.

So she gave him a chance. Yes, of course, he left Gigi later. And yes, it was with another Dear John letter. Poor Gigi. She learned the hard way that just because they said they would never ever hurt her, didn’t mean they actually would follow through with their promise. But she still had a wonderful few days in Spain with Dave, showing him all over the island, and taking him to all of her favorite places. They went out on more fun nights with Whitney and his friends, laughing about getting “wildly drunk, wildly naked, and wildly…” Gigi can still remember Whitney coming up with this phrase. Whitney with her black lace outfits (It was the early Madonna years), her punked up hair, and her funky dances.

Gigi snuck the key from her neighbor’s empty summer home that her parents looked after, and Dave and Gigi spent many a memorable night there. In all of the many bedrooms. In the swimming pool. On the dining room table. On the thick plush carpet in front of the fireplace (no fire needed, since they provided all of the heat, and summers in Mallorca were too hot for fires). Dave was simply gorgeous, tall, dark and handsome, like a young Tom Cruise in Top Gun, in tip-top physical shape (yes, like the volleyball ball scene in Top Gun), and he could last for hours, simply hours. They only had a few days together in Spain, but the memories of those passionate days kept them enthralled for weeks. They wrote constantly after he left, and he soon asked her to visit him in college. It was the first of many trips that Gigi would make, in which sex was the one and only reason for taking it. Now that is a whole other chapter…

So soon Gigi had packed a little bag filled with sexy lingerie (Gigi’s favorite American discovery were malls and Victoria’s Secret) and she was off to Boston for her first weekend away of sex. Pure, fun, unadulterated sex. Dave was in the ROTC program and only spent his summers on navy ships. The rest of the time he was a computer geek at MIT. Gigi flew out to see him for a weekend in November and they had a marathon weekend spent in bed, taking photos of each other, making love all over campus, both in private and public places. It was the first time that Gigi experienced the naughty thrill of making love in public places, right under the very noses of people who had no idea what they were doing. Long skirts can hide quite a lot… She could barely walk by the time she left. However, it was their last encounter as she very soon received his break up letter. She never ever heard from him again. Funnily enough, she found him on face book too, but Dave would not accept her request. Hmmm, too afraid of the havoc Gigi could cause in his probably married life? Yet Gigi would do it all over again, just for the incredible experience that they shared.

Gigi’s next amazing sexual experience was the one that truly broke her heart for the first time. It is also the one she is the least proud of, since she was married at the time. James snuck into her life and her heart without Gigi ever realizing it, until it was too late to do anything, but succumb, and with all of her heart, and body, and soul. Gigi had been married for 8 years when James entered her life. He found her through their high school website, and told her that he had gone to school with her in Spain when she was only 6 or 7. He described her to a T, right down to the red ribbon in her hair and her prissy dresses. Gigi had no memories of him, but she had just recently discovered the internet and loved meeting people from her childhood. James and Gigi became friends on the computer, emailing each other, talking through chat programs, and discovered that they had so much in common. James spoke as many languages as she did, and loved reading the same books. He was married to someone with whom he had little in common, just as Gigi was, and they bonded so quickly.

However, it wasn’t until one afternoon when Gigi was in bed in acute pain from having had two molars removed, and flying high on codeine, that they began to flirt, innocently at first, but it very quickly flared into something more. They both felt so alone in their marriages, alone and misunderstood. I’m not trying to excuse what they did. It was wrong, and they did hurt their spouses dreadfully, but it was inevitable. They fell in love. Now at this time Gigi was planning on going to Spain, first of all to see her mother, and second of all to take part in a high school reunion. Suddenly James told her that he was going to meet her there. And the innocent online flirtation became even more serious and dangerous. James arranged to fly on the same flight as Gigi. She was making a connection in D.C., where he lived, and he planned the most romantic (in Gigi’s eyes that is) first encounter. One that Gigi was not able to resist. Maybe he planned it that way, or so Gigi cynically thinks now, years later, when not quite so naïve.

He met her at the airport in a limousine, with a huge bouquet of roses, and whisked her off to a five class restaurant for dinner. He then took her to a room at one of the airport hotels, where he had candles, soft music, and boxes of presents waiting for her, containing lingerie, chocolates, books of Khalil Gibran love poetry, which he read to her, in his oh so poetic voice… Gigi couldn’t have resisted if she’d tried. Especially once he began to remove the lingerie, and explored every inch of her body, finding new erogenous spots that Gigi had never even known existed. “So that’s the famous mysterious G-spot,“ she thought as she nearly fainted from the pleasure. “Hmmm. Someone should give all men a map to it, pointing the way with big neon signs, and huge arrows.” Women would never stray away from the men who could find it. James will always be the number one sexual experience of her life. He was in supreme physical form, (and Gigi was in peak condition herself for the first time in years). He must have been trained in lovemaking by the writers of the Kama Sutra book. He was probably taught by harem love slaves on how to please a woman. Gigi couldn’t even think after a few hours spent in bed with him.

They had that whole afternoon and evening together, and then they boarded their plane for Spain. And yes, they became members of the mile-high club, the one and only time Gigi ever dared to try. Gigi and James had ten days in Spain together, either staying at his hotel room together, or at her mami’s apartment. Gigi was never able to keep secrets from her mami, who soon realized what was going on, and she told Gigi that she had never thought that her husband Tim was the right one for her. Great! Another parent who kept this a secret from Gigi… Gigi still has the photos of those days in Spain, and in each photo her eyes are glowing and happier than at any other point in time in Gigi’s life. They barely slept the whole time they were there, but tried practically all the positions in that Kama Sutra book that James had thoughtfully brought with him. And I mean all!

Who knows what would have happened on their return to the States, if James hadn’t enthused about his trip and talked about Gigi without end. His Persian wife, Shahrzad, was soon incredibly suspicious (totally justified of course), and found someone to hack into James’ emails, and discovered all that had happened, and how they were planning future encounters. She proceeded to take it upon herself to inform Gigi’s husband, (and all of his family that she found in the phone directory, and even Gigi’s employers, and probably would have taken out an ad in the Detroit News, if not warned by James that Gigi could sue), and that was the end of Gigi’s marriage.

Tim would have forgiven her, but Gigi just couldn’t stay with him after what she had experienced with James, Wrong or not, married or not, James had made her realize that she wasn’t happy in her marriage, and that she wanted more. The first time that Tim made love to her on her return, Gigi had tears silently coursing down her face, as she strangely felt like she was being unfaithful, but not to Tim. To James! Whether or not James would be in her life, Gigi could no longer stay married. James left his wife twice to come live in Michigan near Gigi. She’d find him a place to stay, once at a hotel and once at the home of a girl friend. Shahrzad didn’t want him, but she would definitely not let Gigi have him. Not as long as she was alive and kicking. No way in hell. When she‘d kick him out of the house, he would run to Gigi, but as soon as Shahrzad realized where he‘d gone, she would force him to return, threatening to kill herself, or to send her six brothers to kill him and Gigi, to make his life hell, to keep the children away from him, and so many more dire threats that she probably would have quite cheerfully carried out. Shahrzad was truly the wife from hell. She also held all the purse strings, and she cut him off without a dime.

So James went back to his wife. He left Gigi telling her that he would love her forever, but that he couldn’t leave his children alone. Gigi begged him to return home and just live near his kids, get divorced, find a job, and they could be free to see each other. But James didn’t trust his kids alone with his wife. Shahrzad was very unbalanced, emotional, and mentally unstable. She was the tireless worker of the marriage, who had no time for her husband and hated sex, while he was the nurturer and child taker, and loved sex. She worked, while he took care of the kids. She ran the household and their Persian restaurant with an iron hand, and he meekly did as he was told, having to ask for money to buy even the barest necessities. He didn’t have the inner strength or courage to fight for the woman he loved, preferring to be tied to a woman he hated. Or so he said. Who knows what was truly in his heart and mind.

This was the saddest time in Gigi’s life, and also the one she most deeply regretted. She regretted what she put Tim through, and she wished she’d had left him before she was unfaithful to him. But she never realized how unhappy she was until it was too late. It was also her biggest heartbreak because although she left Tim, James never left Shahrzad. They emailed a few times throughout the years, but very carefully and always under the watchful eye of the Persian wife from hell. Gigi had a few crazy months after he left, first depressed in bed, and then losing herself with men she met, god yes, again in chat rooms in the internet. It wasn’t until she met Santi that she slowly began to heal.

Paco had been her first lover, while Dave and James had been the first to teach her to explore her sexuality. But it was Santi who would set her free, to realize that there was nothing wrong with sex, as long as you were not hurting someone you were involved with. Santi was the one who taught her that you had to have a sincere conversation about sex with whomever you were seriously involved with, to make sure that you were both open to the same things. She had first met Santi at a salsa club where he gave salsa lessons. Gigi would go with her husband Tim, who was always jealous because Santi would ask Gigi to dance with him and show the other students just how it was done. Santi was just divine, Cuban black, beautifully dressed (he actually spent more on clothes and shoes than Gigi did!). At the time, Gigi had not yet met James, and she was totally faithful to Tim. Santi was just someone she thoroughly enjoyed dancing with, without ever taking it any further.

However, one night, when she had lost James and was separated from Tim, she ran into Santi at the hotel where he worked, and they instantly recognized each other, even though it had been quite some time since they had last danced together. They made plans to meet at the salsa club, and from that very night, he became her very first booty call partner. They would meet at the club and she would follow him home, and ay mami. He was probably in the top five of her sexual experiences. They were also very good friends, and they told each other that if they didn’t find someone else to fall in love with (they were never in love with each other), then they would one day have a daughter together, Esperanza would be her name. Hope. They would name their daughter Hope in Spanish. Gigi had always wanted to have a little girl, and theirs would have been strikingly beautiful.

Gigi and Santi only had a few months together when her Canadian boyfriend Daniel entered her life. This time Gigi did it all the right way, and told Santi that she had found an old boyfriend, and had fallen in love, and that she could no longer see him. They remained friends to this very day, and she actually introduced him to the love of his life, who amazingly enough also teaches Spanish with Gigi. They met a party where Santi and Gigi put on a salsa show for the teachers. Never let it be said that Gigi didn’t help her friends! In fact, why is it that some of her friends seem to have more luck in the love department than Gigi? Not all of course, and soon some of these friends and their stories will appear in Gigi’s memoirs, because even they want their stories told. Maybe after reading these memoirs, women will unite and stand up to these men and their cruel treatment of women.

To read Part XIV, see The Adventures of a Thoroughly Confused Gigi – Part XIV