When Gigi gave up dating, or turned to just plain booty calls and amazing sex

Gigi’s father had always said that Gigi spoke six languages and didn’t know how to say no in any of them. And he said this before she ever became a woman! But it was sadly true. Gigi had zilch in the will power department. She couldn’t say no to chocolate, to clothes and shoes, or to men. What can I say. She just loved sex. She loved everything about it, the kisses and caresses leading up to it, the touching, all the positions (and I mean all of them). Oh oh TMI? Sorry, but this is the booty call chapter, which means it doesn’t involve dinner, but skips straight to dessert. So either skip the chapter, or bravely read on. It won’t get too graphic I promise, and you will have to use your imagination, because no photos or videos will be shared, and not too many details either. Those were only exchanged with her BFF’s.

As a teenager, Gigi had a rule. An “everything but” rule, wanting to save her first time until she was 18. So she’d do everything except actual penetration. As an adult it was harder to say no, when she had goose bumps down to her very toes, when just the touch of his hand made her shiver, when that look in his eyes mirrored her own, a look of intense desire and longing, an “I must have you now or die” look. As you’ve read in a previous chapter, the “everything but” rule didn’t last for very long with David! It would prove to not work so well as an adult… because as an adult, Gigi didn’t think she needed to stop or say no. And she’d found out the hard way that some men left regardless of how long you waited before indulging in sex. So why wait? If all they wanted was one night of sex, they would leave no matter how long you waited. If they wanted more than one night, then they’d stay for repeat performances. To Gigi it was a very natural, happy, and healthy activity to enjoy. In fact, she thought, if more people indulged in it, we would all be much happier and way less stressed out.

Many years ago, she was told by Santi, a close friend (and a once upon a time booty partner; actually, now that I think about it, he was her very first booty partner ever) that people should have a “sex talk” as soon as possible, once they begin the dating process, whether it be casual or serious dating. They should let each other know what they have done, like to do, would like to try, and more importantly, the things they intended on NEVER doing. This way one would never be upset or shocked at any future sexual requests that might pop up some day. How awful it would be to find out after having invested several months of your life, that your partner wanted to do something that was completely unappealing or even disgusting to you. Or how sad it would be if your partner did not enjoy a certain position that you loved. Nope. Santi said that by being honest at the very beginning, no one would ever be disappointed. Santi had been very important to Gigi in discovering what she enjoyed doing. They only had a few months together, but became very close, shared a lot, and are still friends to this day. Santi was all that Gigi loved: beautiful, intelligent, sweet, sexy, black, (Cuban-African American), and to top it all off, an expert salsa dancer. You’ll read more about him in her chapter on discovering her sexuality.

Gigi saw nothing wrong in having lots of sex. The problem was finding someone who wanted it as much as she did, or who would come back for more once he got it. So Gigi had to slowly develop her little black book, and soon texts would fly back and forth from either her or them, sometimes at inopportune times, especially when she was in a serious relationship, or maybe when she was indulging in “dessert” with someone else. The funny thing about Gigi is that in her life it either rained down men, or there was a severe drought of them. When she thought there was no one available, suddenly she’d meet three new ones, or have old ones pop up out of nowhere. When one left, they all left! And then she’d have to start all over again.

David had broken her heart, and she simply didn’t have it in her anymore to look for someone new to love. Her girl friends told her she should give up dating, that she shouldn’t give her heart so easily, shouldn’t trust men so easily, that she should find a hobby. A hobby? Crocheting? Knitting? Aerobics? A book club? Are you kidding me? She even got the speech on “You’ll find him when you are least looking for him.” Where? In the supermarket? The library? The coffee shop in a book store? In the arts and crafts store? How was this all her fault? Why was she being blamed for not having found a man? Or for finding one, but not being able to keep him, or to hang on to him? Wasn’t it his fault? It really wasn’t her! It was them! Those men out there who said they wanted a relationship, but really didn’t. They didn’t know what the heck they wanted, or else why did they flit in and out of Gigi’s life?
So Gigi gave up. She didn’t renew any of her online memberships, and didn’t look for any new ones. However, Gigi still had needs, needs her, let’s say, toys, could not quite fulfill, and after breaking some of said toys, Gigi realized she needed a man. Gigi had a great toy collection because quite honestly Gigi would have been a happy woman to have sex every night. She had started the toy collection when she had her 6.5 year long distance relationship, and that had kept her faithful. But toys were just not the same thing. They couldn’t kiss and cuddle or make sounds. They were a substitute, but just no fun. And after a while even batteries and replacing broken toys got expensive!

So she thought she would forget about finding a boyfriend and would just look for sex. Yes, SEX!! Now that couldn’t be that hard, or so you’d think, right? Oh no. This world has become so complicated that many men are afraid of too much sex with the same woman, thinking that even that constitutes a relationship. Even when Gigi told them up front that she all she wanted was sex and lots of it, they either didn’t believe her, or they were scared of committing to even that much. I think Gigi scared many of them away. She was very passionate in bed, not afraid to say what she wanted or liked, and not afraid to make the first move. At first, they seemed intrigued, and said they were man enough for her, but then they ran, far far away to meek little women who would do as they were told.

Now before that year of online dating had ended, Gigi had met a simply beautiful African American man, one that simply oozed sex appeal out of every single pore. The chemistry between them was so sizzling, that they were almost thrown out of the restaurant where they first met. He had what Gigi’s mami called “bedroom eyes.” Walt was actually the one who gave Gigi her name, because in case you haven’t guessed yet, Gigi is NOT her real name. All names have been changed to protect the innocent, and the not so innocent. Gigi had many aliases: Sha Sha Na to Le’Ro, Demi to her Ashton, muñ eca to her precioso, Dulcinea to her Quijote, Doll face to her Mambo king… and Gigi to Walt. Gigi, we’ll go on calling her that for want of another name, had this unique quality of being able to be a different kind of woman to whomever she was with, wanting to please him and be what he wanted her to be.

Walt and Gigi had met on Match.com and spent the whole night talking online, and then they talked on the phone and texted for a few days. They soon made a date to meet in person, and it was an instant attraction, so much so that Gigi felt like jumping across the table and attacking him. She felt as though he was undressing her with his eyes, such warm, chocolate brown, sultry eyes. They sat in her car and made out like teenagers for a while, and she had to tear herself away and remember that she had a party to go to, otherwise she would have taken him home there and then and never let him go. He asked her out for another date, and they made plans to meet at his place and then they’d go out for dinner. However, he ended up ordering Chinese, and it wasn’t long before Gigi entered what Walt called the “No Panty Zone’. And she became a habitual guest, on and off, for the next year. It was mind-blowing, earth shattering, amazing, out of this world sex. They could have made a fortune out of selling the video, if a video had been made, which I will neither confirm nor deny. It was probably in the top three sexual experiences of her life.

For about a month they saw each other almost every week, and Gigi even spent the night twice. She could so easily have fallen in love with Walt, because he was an intelligent, funny, sweet man. However, Walt was practically married to his job, and he worked long hours, sometimes during the day and sometimes throughout the night, and soon she was only seeing him once a month if she was lucky. When they’d first met, he’d been on vacation, but all too soon he started to work, and the weeks began to slip by, and they saw each other less and less. They only ever had one night out to the movies, otherwise, it was just Gigi going to his place, and leaving after their desires were met, satisfied for sure, but with no chance for it to ever develop into a relationship other than what it was. At times, Walt would joke about marrying her, and her heart would make a little pitty pat jump, just imagining having someone like Walt every night all to herself. However, he was never serious and once she left it would take all her wiles and effort to get him to commit to another night. When she’d come back, he’d act as if she’d been the one to stay away, which was not quite the case, but that was their game, and they played it well. They never seemed to have a chance to take it further. At times Walt seemed to want more, or at least he said so once or twice. But then he’d find out that Gigi had met someone new, and he implied that Gigi wasn’t patient enough. He just didn’t understand that Gigi had lost all faith in men, and didn’t wait around for them anymore. She just came, saw, and conquered, or in Latin: vini, vidi, vici. Or maybe not in that order. And then she’d just leave.

Walt became her monthly booty call, sad but true. What a not very nice term for something that was actually quite wonderful, with him that is. He was always sweet and affectionate, cuddled afterwards, and she never felt bad about what they had done. She would have loved more time spent with him. She texted him about once a week, wanting to see him more often, but he was not always free. He had to cancel on her quite a few times because of his work and his employees not showing up for work and he would then have to cover their shifts. Once or twice, Gigi and Walt had a slight falling out and wouldn’t talk to each other for a few weeks, but they always ended up reconciling again, and then the making up and making out was so worth it. What Gigi ended up loving about Walt was his honesty. They were able to admit what they were doing, and that it was complete freedom to be with whomever they wanted to, and still turn to each other for that incredible release, leaving them bruised and bitten and sore for days afterwards. Gigi could be herself with him, wild and free, and he did things to her that no man had ever done. Things I blush to write about, and could only share one-on-one with close friends.

Gigi would never be able to do true justice in words to what they experienced together, which is why she told him that writing about him in her memoirs would not only be difficult, but would be seriously censored by editors. The photos and videos they had taken would likewise not be allowed to be made public, but would have to be shared privately by them alone. Oh Walt. She told him jokingly that he should quit his job and come be her live-in toy. He said he would willingly do it any day she was willing to take care of him. Maybe if her memoirs become famous and she makes a ton of money…

When Walt was not available, Gigi had a few others to turn to. Funnily enough some were men she’d met on the online dating sites, the others she met at the salsa clubs. They hadn’t formed a serious relationship, but she did manage to see some of them on a purely casual basis, if desperate or lonely enough to have to look throughout her little black book. None of these men were amazing in bed, but they were better than being alone or looking for strangers. She didn’t necessarily like admitting to this part of her memoirs, but Gigi is honest to a fault, and what is a girl to do if she is craving dessert and chocolate just won’t cut it?

Le’Ro, of the text blow up, had one more encounter with Gigi, but he also worked too hard. Now he had been an amazing lover, but for some reason he always thought that she didn’t think that about him, and later he admitted to having been jealous of her 23 year old Mexican Benny, so they simply remained friends. He loved to hear about her adventures though. She finally got together with Matt, the one who went to school with her friend, Susan. But though gorgeous, he wasn’t very creative in bed, and wouldn’t even cuddle a little afterwards, so Gigi only ever saw him three times, and she turned him down many a time after that, because she simply couldn’t be bothered to drive all the way to his place for mediocre sex. Even Vinnie and Charlie were considered, they of the one night only that first month of online dating, but Gigi never truly pursued them, and they never could be tied down to another date.

Gigi had another favorite booty call, but Ismael had a girl friend and was rarely available. They had met when he was on a break from his girl friend, and it had been another instant attraction. From the minute they saw each other at the salsa club, they veered towards one and another, and were soon in each other’s arms. To dance! What were you thinking? Gigi would never do THAT at a club. He danced like a dream, so sensually that it was almost like making love. Hmmm, so maybe she DID do that at a club! He was a downright heart-stoppingly gorgeous black Cuban, looking like a young Sydney Poitier, and this one truly showed her just where the “myth” had come from. Ay mami! He had the sexiest accent when speaking in English, and he called her so many loving things in Spanish, like “mi corazon” or “mi amor” (my heart and love) that her heart would flutter, just a little.

They were together for a perfect week, and even went to the salsa club together, where he made it very obvious that Gigi was “with” him, and Gigi was in heaven for a week. But his girl friend came back, reclaimed him, and Gigi lost her Cuban lover. They only had two simply amazing helpings of dessert , and then no more. Ismael told her that he simply loved her body. “My body?” thought Gigi looking at herself. He said that Cuban men loved curves of any size… Life was just not fair. She finally found someone who didn’t mind all of her voluptuous curves, perfectly voluptuous in some places, and not so perfect in other places, and he had a girl friend! He told her ever so regretfully that he had to go back to his girl friend; after all, they’d been together for two years. “So?“ Gigi felt like screaming with frustration. “What about our one perfect week? Doesn‘t that count for anything?” But Gigi bit her tongue. She was never one to complain or whine or make a scene. He said that he simply had to stay away from Gigi, so as not to fall into temptation again. She almost shed a tear or two the first time she saw him again, at a salsa concert. He was so beautiful and sweet and always smiling, whereas his girl friend was so plain, and frumpy, and always frowning. Gigi wondered at the injustices of life.

She didn’t see Ismael again for almost a year. Then one day, he called her out of the blue, and told her that he couldn’t stop thinking about her, and just had to see her. He became an occasional booty call, and ended up coming back for dessert a few more times (yes, despite the girl friend), but he was no longer free. He wanted to see her many more times after that, but Gigi didn’t like having to sneak around his girl friend, so she turned him down a lot. It was very hard to do, but he was another man that she could have fallen in love with and she was afraid of being hurt, so she didn’t want to see him too much. Their times together were bitter-sweet. She loved having him come over, but hated having him leave. At times, Gigi wished she DID have the will power to say no.

Towards the end of her just plain booty year, Gigi met another African American. We’ll call him Ashton since he was only 22, so she was like Demi to him. He was simply beautiful, a college student studying music, sweet and sensitive, passionate and vigorous (oh these 20 year olds! An older woman has not truly lived if she has not experienced at least one young lover in her life). Gigi spent two wonderful months with him, seeing him once a week in his small college apartment. They would watch movies together, and she would cook for him, and then they would partake in mind- boggling dessert that left her shaken to the core, and actually wondering that if the real Demi and Ashton had made it work for so long, could she and her Ashton?

She even spent the night a few times, and he sweetly held her in his arms all night long, and she began to love that morning breakfast as much as last night’s dessert. But once again, young men are really only good for one thing, and Gigi ended up wanting more. They never went anywhere together, and after a while even stopped watching movies at home. They would simply have dinner and go straight to bed. Not only that, but Ashton soon began to act like a kept man, wanting her to buy him things for his apartment, be in charge of cooking all the meals, and never did or said anything sweet or appreciative. Gigi soon had had enough. So came the end of just plain booty, and time to find a real boyfriend again. One to have more than just dessert with.

It was at this point in time that she settled for Arthur, the very nice man mentioned in the first chapter, whom she dated for nine months, until she realized that nice just wasn’t enough. Gigi wanted it all; nice and passion and love and romance and amazing sex. It had to be out there, and Gigi wouldn’t stop until she found it, or until she ran out of pages in her memoirs! Arthur was a wonderfully sweet man, but he wasn’t as passionate as Gigi would have liked, and despite all those months spent together, he never once told her that he loved her, nor did he really make her a part of his life. The fact that he kept her a secret from his exs and his children hurt Gigi so much, that she decided to break up with him, a first for Gigi in a very long time. She cried in his arms for the whole hour it took her to break up with him, and it was the hardest thing that she had to do: to walk away from a very nice man, because she wasn’t getting all that she wanted and needed. So despite the fact that Gigi knew very well the hell that awaited her in the dating world, she walked away from him.

It was time to turn to yet another dating site. Gigi had found two free ones on her Iphone. One that wasn’t so good, and one that was. This second one had a ton of questions to answer and then it showed you your perfect matches, but let you contact them on your own. And Gigi did. And would you believe that on this site she met two men that she felt an instant attraction to in all the ways she required, the emotional, mental, and physical? Now their story must be combined with someone she met when she went on vacation to Spain, because all three of them had the EXACT same last name. It could only happen to Gigi. The months of dating Mr. Brown. I kid you not. Once again, let me reiterate that who needs fiction, when the non-fiction is so entertaining. Gigi was amazed at how things always seemed to happen to her in groups of three.

To read Part XIII, see The Adventures of a Thoroughly Confused Gigi – Part XIII